Things That Make Me Laugh

Commoditization

Things (in my personal opinion) which have been commoditized in Christiandom – meant satirically:

• the use of the font, papyrus.
• the necessity of coffee, nay, espresso in churches.
• cool names for the younger groups (youth and college) – don’t the sages need them too?
• words like relevant, innovative (that’s true for silicon valley too)
• doing things like, “relevant – (rel-uh-vuh nt)” on promo items
• coming up with new names for small group, e.g., mini church, cell groups, home church.
• social networking

I have done, and enjoyed most all these. But I believe they have run their cycle, or perhaps I am irrelevant.

On Engagement Rings

Presuppositions

• Every girl has an idea of what she wants.
• Every girl has told at least one other girl what this is (usually a bff or sister).
• Every girl likes surprises (and guys who do their homework).
• The guy should be a leader enough to: find out which girl knows, and befriend her enough to ask – or maybe even have her go with you!

Conclusion

• Shopping for an engagement ring is very easy.
• Every guy should befriend his bride’s girlfriend who knows the specs.
• Every guy should be able to surprise his bride with exactly what she wants.

Meet Mrs. Timothy Lin (Almos)

Here’s the one you’ve all been waiting for. Yes, the rumors are true – I got my white girl last Saturday. My version of the story isn’t as mushy, since to me it was more of a well planned proposal. But let me take you through it (Heidi’s version will be coming shortly):

4:15 A.M. – I wake up to go pick Heidi up. I convince her to go dolphin watching off the Wainae coast, but we have to get there by sunrise and it’s an hour away.

4:50 A.M. – I get to her place, she’s somewhat awake, I’m definitely struggling (I don’t like mornings).

5:45 A.M. – We pull up to Dillingham Airfield 30 minutes early, and I ask Heidi, “Would you be upset if we didn’t see any dolphins today?” “Eh, well yeah,” she responds. To which I ask, “How would you like to fly instead?” Now I’ve got her attention and she’s wide awake. We hang at the beach and watch the sunrise, then head to the airfield.

6:15 A.M. – Heidi’s freaking out at this point, she’s an adventurous girl who’s been skydiving three times. When she sees what we’ll be flying around in gets her all giddy.

6:45 A.M. – Time to fly, we get up to around 2000 ft., but mainly cruise around 1000 ft.

pretty sweet huh?

she's loving it.

ka'ena point (this is "the spot")

i got this.

flying.

7:45 A.M. – We’re in the air for about 40 mins, and they let us fly the whole time – pretty amazing. Heidi was so stoked, she ran up and gave me a big hug when we both landed.

8:00 A.M. – We head out, and I’m getting ready mentally.

8:15 A.M. – We find a spot out on the beach. Great waves on the north side this morning – it’s glassy, waist to nearly head high. We lay down our beach mat, and I tell her I have a letter for her (which I usually do every couple months), but this time I’m going to read it to her. I leave the last page of the letter for her to read later, and instead just tell her the last part straight up. I tell her I’m in love with her, and pull a nice rock out of the envelope the letter was in. Then I give her a big kiss (first kiss ever for us), and then we have communion and pray. Then we head out and kick it at Sunset for a few hours. It was a beautiful day, the water was so clear. And now I get to marry the woman of my dreams. Oh yeah.

i promise, it's not a cz.

i've had this thing for 2.5 months.

da spot - minutes from where they film lost.

the elements.

stoked.

yep.

my bride.

Articulation

When I think of articulation (starts getting good around 3:50)…

A Proposal Story

Today is a big day for me. I got an exciting e-mail from Miss Jamal Austin Yac. Apparently a Sudanese princess. I’ve always wanted to marry rich, and now here’s my chance. Here’s what she wrote:

Dearest,

Hi, my name is Miss Jamal Justin Yac, 24years old originated from Sudan . I am fair in complexion, lovely, romantic and caring.  I decided to contact you because I really want to have a good relationship with you. My father Dr. Justin Yac Arop was the former Minister for SPLA Affairs and Special Adviser to President Salva Kiir of South Sudan for Decentralization. My father Dr. Justin Yac and my mother including other top Military officers and top government officials had been on board when the plane crashed on Friday May 02, 2008.

You can read more about the crash through the below site:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7380412.stm

After the burial of my father, my uncle conspired and sold my father’s properties to one Chinese Expatriate and lives nothing for me.  One faithful morning, I opened my father’s briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I travelled to Burkina Faso to withdraw the money so that I can start a better life and take care of myself. On my arrival, the Branch manager of the Bank whom I met in person told me that my father’s instruction to the bank was the money should be released to me only when I am married or present a trustee who will help me and invest the money overseas.

I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well, I will say that my mind convinced me that you are the true person to help me. More so, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my uncles have threatened to assassinate me. The amount is $8.5 Million and I have confirmed from the bank in Burkina Faso . You will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venturein your Country.

However, you will help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can complete my studies.  It is my intention to compensate you with 20% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. As soon as I receive your interest in helping me, I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely. Please do keep this only to your self. I beg you not to disclose it till I come over because I am afraid of my weaked uncles who have threatened to kill me.

Sincerely yours,

miss.Jamal Justin Yac

*this was unedited to maintain authenticity.

How?

Somehow, my good friend Daniel convinced me to let him stay with me for about a month. I still have no idea how this happened. And I’m not sure if da aina is ready for this:

Flying Back

So today I left Boston for Honolulu, but had to first stop in Dallas then Los Angeles. And as I write this, I’m 30 minutes from Hawaii. Three things are on my mind: I’m tired, I’ll get to see Heidi, and I hope the Nuggets won. Other fun trip details:

• Talked to a Taiwanese girl at the airport who was in Boston for her best friend’s wedding that was the worst experience of her life, and she spared no detail in telling me all about it.
• Sat next to a nice couple from New Zealand on my to L.A. who had a 4 hour layover before their 17 hour flight – they win.
• Glanced at two horrible movies and “in-flight entertainment” shows
• Observed that on all three of my flights, someone was reading The Shack.
• Thought I saw Jay-Z on my flight to L.A.

Last thought: I’m excited to see Heidi.

Follow up thought: So happy to see her, and I already miss her again. Please excuse my sappiness.

Say Uncle

I’m nearly an uncle. No, Grace is not pregnant. But in the spirit of Unclehood, and to those who would call one an uncle – I’m pretty much an uncle. Dave (my brother in law) has two nieces, Stephanie and Savannah, whom I now claim as my nieces. And although I love them both equally, Savannah (all of 3 years) has quickly made me her favorite. It all started last Christmas when we rode the merry go round together, which apparently she hasn’t stopped talking about since. And also my gift of Cheer Bear (one of the Care Bears), a treasured stuffed animal of hers. So this past weekend we were in Maine with Dave’s family, and Savannah was really excited Uncle Tim was there. In fact, she kind of freaked out when she saw me. I could tell in her eyes she wanted to express something deeper to me, but her vocabulary was limited to the following phrases:

• I like you
• I love you
• I want you
• Uncle Tim (on repeat)
• You’re my favorite kid/uncle. 

She also wanted to cuddle next to me when we watched TV, falling asleep instantly, and wanted to do go wherever I went. It was all quite endearing, and yes, she had me around her finger (as Heidi so eloquently puts it). But I was anxious to see how she would react when I left. As I packed she said, “You live in Hawaii, I want to come to your house, and bring monkey (the stuffed animal she sleeps with), and jie jie (sister in Chinese).” Very cute, I thought. Well, when she realized I was leaving – no more cute. This little girl was in tears, not sobbing, but had this incredibly sad look on her face, and wouldn’t saying anything as I held her. Just thought I’d share and brag. Hopefully she’ll remember me.

A few pics from our walk (down the driveway):

Blue Steel.

Cutie.

Make a wish...

Let’s Go Nuggets

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this article while getting off my connecting flight in Dallas –where surprisingly, everyone has a nice draw. Until last week, I hadn’t met anyone who also was obsessed with the Nuggets. But my buddy Josiah is an equally avid fan. I remember listening to preseason games on the radio when I was in elementary school. I also did my third grade research project on the Nuggets, and in fourth grade on the NBA (because I couldn’t do the same topic) – with an emphasis on the Nuggets. Although Reilly has some more years on me, he failed to mention some of the players I grew up watching. Like old school McDyess, Bryant Stith, LaPhonso Ellis, Mt. Mutomobo, and the chants of “Rauf, there it is” (sung to melody of Tag Team’s hit single).  Only the true fans know these things. Which brings me to my next point; fans of teams (especially big market teams) who aren’t legitimately from that respective city are kind of irritate me. Now, I understand this could be quite offensive – especially to those who didn’t grow up in a city with a “hometown” team. But the fact remains, and this is how I feel. And I bet Josiah and Reilly feel the same way. As a parting word, I echo my fellow hometown fans with a 2.0 chant of, “Beat L.A.!,” and “Kobe sucks!”

Check it.

And yes I know now we lost.